When someone you know suffers a loss, the first thing on your mind is usually: "What can I say?" It’s normal to feel a little stuck, but you don’t need a script. A genuine, brief expression of sympathy goes a long way. The goal isn’t to fix the pain – it’s to let the grieving person know they’re not alone.
Start with the basics: mention the person who passed, share a brief memory if you have one, and say you’re thinking of them. Even a short line like, "I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ll always remember how kind John was," feels personal and honest. Keep the tone calm, avoid clichés, and focus on empathy.
If you’re worried about saying the wrong thing, stick to a few solid phrases. "My thoughts are with you," "I’m here if you need anything," and "Sending love and strength" are safe bets. You don’t have to fill the silence with a long paragraph; a few sincere words are enough.
When you do want to add more, think about what you truly feel. Mention a specific trait or moment you admired about the deceased. For example, "Your mother’s laugh always brightened the room; I’ll miss that dearly." This shows you cared and gives the grieving person something concrete to hold onto.
Avoid trying to explain why the loss happened or offering unsolicited advice. Statements like "They’re in a better place" or "At least you have other kids" might feel comforting to you, but can feel dismissive. Stick to what you know is true for you and keep the focus on the bereaved.
Actions often speak louder than words. Offer specific help instead of a vague "Let me know if you need anything." Say, "I can bring over dinner on Thursday," or "I’ll watch the kids this weekend." Concrete offers are easier for the other person to accept.
Even small gestures—sending a grocery gift card, dropping off a homemade meal, or simply checking in with a text after a few days—show you’re still thinking of them. Grief doesn’t end after the funeral, so keep the support steady, not just a one‑off moment.
If you’re far away, a handwritten note or a simple phone call can be powerful. Modern tools like video calls let you share a hug from a distance. Remember to respect the person’s space; if they don’t respond right away, give them time and try again later.
Some cultures have specific mourning customs. Take a moment to learn if you’re unsure—whether it’s sending flowers, observing a period of silence, or following a particular prayer practice. Showing that you respect their traditions adds an extra layer of compassion.
Finally, take care of yourself. Supporting someone through grief can be draining. Make sure you have your own support network and give yourself a break when needed. You’ll be better able to help when you’re feeling balanced.
Giving condolences isn’t about having the perfect line; it’s about being present, honest, and kind. Keep your message simple, offer real help, and stay in touch. Those small, consistent acts make a big difference for someone navigating loss.
In a heartbreaking incident, a tanker explosion in Jigawa State resulted in over 150 fatalities, with many more injured. Kano State Governor Abdullahi Ganduje mourns the tragic loss, offering his deepest condolences to those affected. The explosion occurred when a tanker lost control and erupted near Khadija University, despite police efforts to disperse onlookers. Emergency services continue to provide aid to the injured at Ringim General Hospital.
View more