Imagine you could enjoy honeymoon sex every night... It sounds too good to be true, doesn't it? Well, it's not.
Here's a little secret: What makes you feel emotionally secure isn't always what turns you on sexually. In other words, instead of looking to meet your emotional needs, you must take responsibility of your own sexual desire if you want to reignite your love life.
Ready to get started? Try these four fool-proof tips...
Four surefire ways to take back your sexual desire
#1: List top 10 things that turn you on
Figuring out what turns out on is the single most important step to heating up your sex life again. But instead of saying, “You turn me on when...” or, “What turns me on is...”, flip the script and own your wanting by saying, “I turn myself on by...” or, “I awaken my desire when...” – and list the top 10 things that turn you on.
Here are some good examples:
I turn myself on when...
· I do exercise;
· I go dancing; or
· I remember a sexy encounter.
#2: Draw up a sex schedule
This may sound very unromantic, but if you want to have honeymoon sex, you have to plan instead and not wait for the so-called perfect moment. You can’t expect sex to happen at a moment’s notice anyway! Drawing up a sex schedule and indicating which nights you’ll have sex will make sure you and your partner are erotically engaged. It will also bring that zest you seemed to have lost back into your love life!
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#3: Stop trying to control your partner
When you text your partner, they respond with that familiar emoji that translates to your personal language of love. You know how they smell so intimately that it’s lodged itself in your clothes. When you come home at night, you expect them to be there. You’ve basically colonised your partner’s mind and body as your own – and vice versa – but it’s important to remember that they’re separate from you.
It’s impossible to inhabit your partner’s thoughts, read their mind or really known them inside out. And this isn’t a bad thing – it’s actually really positive, because recognising your partner’s differences can ignite eroticism. After all, when it comes to staying interested in yourself and in your partner, curiosity is the key erotic element.
#4: See your partner from a new perspective
When you choose to see your partner with new eyes, the person you once knew seems somewhat mysterious, somewhat elusive and somewhat unknown – and this can really change your perspective. You’ll learn that there’s no caretaking when it comes to your sexual desire – no one needs the other, and this creates a space.
In that space between you and your partner lies the erotic élan. So be honest and ask yourself, “When do I find my partner the most attractive?” Not just sexually drawn to, but attracted to in general.
Once you figured this out, you’ve set yourself up for the best sex ever – every night.
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