It's normal to wonder if everyone, except you and your beloved partner, is enjoying lots of perfect sex. But what's the real answer here?
According to Jennifer Berman, MD, the director of the Berman Women's Wellness Center in Los Angeles and the author of For Women Only, a healthy sex life doesn't necessarily mean earth-shattering orgasms every day.
That's right - your sex life may just be in better shape than you think! Here are four more myths about healthy intimacy, according to Dr Berman.
Four myths about a healthy sex life – debunked
#1: Good sex is leisurely sex
Sure, everyone likes it nice and slow – but not everyone has the time for leisurely sex. The truth is it’s a luxury for most people! For some, slow sex even sounds more like work after a long, tiring day! The solution here is to embrace the “quickie”, which will boost your energy and mood. And don’t be afraid to break out of the bedroom – quickies are ideal for unusual locations too, even if it’s just your couch or shower.
#2: You both have to be in the mood for sex
No one is always in the mood for sex. There are a number of factors that can throw things off, including your mood, timing, life stresses and even the amount of foreplay. Just because you or your partner (or both of you) is having an off night doesn’t mean your relationship is failing. Look at it this way: It gives you something to look forward to when the planets realign! However, if you find that one or both of you are barely ever in the mood anymore, you should consider seeing a medical doctor or sex therapist to rule out underlying health issues.
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#3: Sex should just happen spur-of-the-moment
Of course, spontaneous sex is exciting – but the reality is it barely just happens spur-of-the-moment. If it does, it can lead to long, dry spells. Instead of waiting for it to just happen, pencil it into your calendar – this will make sure you both commit and have something to look forward to. Establishing a weekly time for intimacy – whether it’s sex or just plain cuddling – will also help take you back to those eagerly anticipated first dates.
#4: Having sex at least three times a week is the norm
It’s easy to get caught up on how often everyone else is having sex – but really, there’s no “normal” number of times per week. Some happy couples have sex every day, while others only have sex twice a week. What’s important is that you stop counting and ensure that you and your partner are both satisfied with your own frequency. If it’s worrying you that you’re not having sex as often anymore, there’s nothing wrong with bringing it up. And remember: You can get your RDA of intimacy by more than just having sex – kissing, cuddling and holding hands counts, too!
There you have it – four common sex myths that must go.
Note: 5 of 1 vote